So whenever folks wondering why it's me and not them -i am just avoiding this kind of a problem and trying just to enjoy whatever G-d gives me .

Analyzing your status is good but thinking all the time that you are not good to have some happiness -you are just a fool.

I am ofcouse seeking to be better and to use the presents from G-d to emproove myself and do  kidness but once again i don't think you need to destroy yourself with this kind of problems.....

After all we not that bad if we got some extras in everydays life and some reachness and some lux levels - it helps us  to run from evel emotions and intentions...